A variation came to mind.Wife texts husband on a beautiful day after a fruit picking weekend: "Apples driving me nuts, what to do."Husband texts back:..."put in cider maker and crank up the pressure."Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer gone flat now."These are compliments Bill LBritish humor as it used to be: absolutely politically incorrect.It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop. I may try hard not to think about the past but it does get to you after a while. Our Uncle Bud was watching us. My parents had a party to go to it was New Years Eve I was not feeling well. I lay down on the couch in my uncle’s home. This was not unusual. My uncle put the little children to bed in the room next to the living room at about 7:00pm. I was allowed to stay up later because I was the oldest. Uncle Bud came over and sat next to me while I laid on the couch. He started to rub my. "You fuckin' bitch!" M wheezed through the pain. "Trudy! Fuckin' killthe cunt!"Faith's eyes snapped up to Trudy, the mop handle still held tightly in herhands, but was surprised by the giant woman's expression. Instead ofanger, or rage, or even her typical cold indifferent stare, Faith saw alook of confusion and uncertainty.A blow to the back of her head the knocked Faith to her knees. Starsfilled her vision and she felt a wave of nausea pass over her. Sherealized that the mop handle had. I can't believe I am doing this. Ok, white lace bra and matching panties, well you can call them panties but its more like a couple pieces of string and a patch of lace in the front. This morning in the shower I made extra sure to trim my patch of light blonde hair so those panties would cover everything. Next my light grey skirt, a little to short for the office normally and the slit up the back adds a little extra skin of my thigh when I walk. Followed by the skimpiest camisole I own. I will.
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